I’m pacing around my kitchen wondering how I can make my point without overselling impulsivity or poor decision making. I think it needs to begin with the caveat to first read last week’s blog (Just Say No) on boundaries. That said, Just Say Yes is about a philosophy of being open to experiences and stepping out of your comfort zone.
Just Say Yes is about a philosophy of being open to experiences and stepping out of your comfort zone.
Let me back up….there was a time in my life when I was a little tightly wound. I practiced relentless over- responsibility. I can be a real “nose to the grind” kind of girl. I turned down opportunities to relax, to have fun and to step out of my tiny little box of doing what I knew, day in, day out. I was taken aback when I got some feedback that I didn’t seem to be as much fun or free as I previously been. But I knew it was true. I felt myself resisting inside. I realized I was boxing myself in.
So, I pushed myself back out into the world. I started saying “yes”—even to small things. I reopened myself to opportunities even when I was uncertain of the outcome. An example was returning to the University for a job that has since opened doors I could have never dreamed possible. Never, never could have dreamed of at all. And to those doors, I’ve said “yes” as often as I possibly can. Even when I’m uncomfortable. Or when the easy thing would be to say “no”.
Later, my life shifted again with my divorce. It was easy to be scared, alone out there in the world, and to go back on lock down—to be overly-cautious and to say “no”. (Plus, I come from a long line of folks who default to playing it safe and saying “no”.) But I didn’t. I’ve actually said “yes” even more. And I have no regrets. Saying “yes” is an attitude for fostering rich experiences and adventure. It is about daring to create a Marvelous life.
Dare to create a Marvelous life by saying yes. ~LiM2 Click To TweetJust saying “yes” is an attitude for fostering rich experiences and adventure.
The social media perception of me by some is that I constantly go and do. Of course that is not true—the last 2 Fridays in a row, I was atop my bed by 8:30 pm quietly reading (hardly social media-worthy). But, interestingly, the going and doing has also been subtly criticized and questioned. Almost mocked. This would surprise me except that when I examine the source of that condemnation, it hails from folks who often say “no’—for no good reason other than habit or fear.
This is the last entry in February’s Relationship Month at LiM2. Shonda Rhimes talks about the connection between saying “yes” relationally and professionally in her Ted Talk, “My year of saying yes to everything.” She discusses working hard, playing more, experiencing joy, fostering relationships and nurturing love. Rhimes states, “Work doesn’t work without play.” She draws the connection between freeing the mind by saying “yes” to play, which results in more happiness, which leads to more creativity in her work. It is a valuable lesson. (See Skill #22)
The bottom line is that we are responsible for our own dreams. Relationships work when our partner understands our dreams and supports us in those endeavors. Ultimately, we have to say “yes” and step out of our comfort zone: It is what makes us joyous and juicy. It keeps a relationship interesting and thriving.
The rule of improvisation is to always say “yes” as the dramatics unfold. It keeps the story moving. Saying “no” in improv shuts down the momentum of the acting. So too is the case in our day-to-day lives. Life is messy and life is scary and life is uncertain. But always defaulting to “no” keeps us stuck there and stops the momentum.
So, Just Say Yes because Life is Messy and Life is Marvelous.